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AN OFFER TOO GOOD TO REFUSE
Children, at least 99% of those I've ever met, view sermons and suggestions for improvement as hooks without worms. The key to motivation is to bait the hook with big fat worms -- rewards that appeal the a child's self-interest, worms too juicy to refuse.
Allowances are discontinued. Gifts of cash are discontinued. Payment for chores is discontinued. However, the ability to earn cash and other rewards is improved.
How? Academic performance and academic performance only.
When? During the Homework Hour.
WHAT YOU VALUE YOU WILL PAY FOR
The single biggest concern I hear from teachers and parents is, "I don't like the idea of paying children for what they should be doing anyway. Shouldn't homework be done out of a sense of obligation? Out of a sense of responsibility and a love of learning?"
Perhaps. There certainly are students who do their homework like clockwork, with a sense of duty, exhibiting a real interest in getting their assignments done. But the parents of these relatively rare children (approximately 20%) are probably not logged on to brainsarefun.
The parents who are turning here are those whose children simply are not exhibiting a high level of academic achievement. These parents have threatened, they have manipulated, they have tried to force their children to be motivated and responsible.
These parents are looking for ways to end the "homework hassle," for ways to get their child's attention, for ways for their children to experience some level of academic achievement and success. They no longer are willing to wait for the child to become motivated.
EVERY HOME HAS REWARDS
When questioned, these parents usually pay allowances, pay for chores, pay for trips to the snack shack, athletic shoes, pizza dinners, video rentals, movies, expensive birthday presents, computer games, sweets... They are willing to purchase a million rewards when things are going well, when they have a few extra dollars, when they feel like it.
They have developed a program of rewards (usually unconsciously) that provides the child with some of the extras our society has to offer. And this is fine. Children should be able to get their hands on some of the things they want.
Unfortunately, these rewards are paid out inconsistently, totally at the whim of the parent. When the parent feels good, the reward is paid. When the parent is frustrated, angry, broke, the reward is withheld or taken away.
Because these rewards are paid-out on the emotion of the moment they are not clearly linked to the correct choices the child has made. The rules of the game are never clearly understood, and there can be no winners without clearly spelled out rules.
THE THREE BEHAVIORS OF SUCCESS
It is far more effective to formalize the reward program. Pay consistently, a fixed amount, every time the child is caught exhibiting the three fundamental behaviors of success:
1) Starting on time;
2) Staying on task;
3) Completing assignments.
Take the emphasis off of athletics, part-time jobs, chores and other extracurricular activities. Put the emphasis directly on the essential behaviors children must exhibit in order to continue their educations and hold jobs with a future.
The fact is, adults are often willing to pay children for everything other than homework. The brainsarefun thesis is that during the school year, homework is the only activity for which children should be able to earn.
Have your old attempts to get your children to focus on their academic skills been successful? It is essential that the old environment be stood on its head in order to provide children with some brand new opportunities to make good choices, and to earn.
THE SPOTLIGHT WHERE IT BELONGS
The spotlight must be put where it belongs, academic success and academic success only. When all is said and done, it's the most important game in town.
Simply enough, managing positive rewards and appealing directly to people's immediate, short-term interest is the only way to motivate the unmotivated.
It is not possible to force a person to be motivated. However, when arbitrary rewards are eliminated and the only way to get cash is to earn it, even the unmotivated begin to pay attention.
From now on, the job of the child is to live up to the terms of his or her contract. When they choose to do it, they earn it. When they choose to ignore the contract, nothing is earned. Responsibility is put directly where it belongs, into the lap of the child.
THE VERY FIRST QUESTION
Begin by asking one simple question, "From now on, how would you like to earn money for doing your homework?"
Almost without fail there is pause. Very often the child turns his or her eyes away and looks down, waiting to be tricked, criticized or embarrassed. Ask the question a second time, "Tell me, how would you like to be paid for doing your homework?"
Nearly without fail the child looks up and smiles. Eyes flicker with light and brief excitement. The parent sees a positive response. Perhaps for the first time in quite a while the parent makes contact and the possibility of communication exists.
"How would you like to be able to earn money for doing your homework?" Trust in about 5% of kids has been so badly damaged that they will not be able to respond positively to this question. However, in the other 95%, a flame of curiosity will flicker. Now you're going to fan that flicker into a fire. What's critical is that you have sparked the flame. You know it exists. You can see life in the eyes of your child. That flicker is worth all the money in the world. It will pay-off in more ways than can be imagined. Often a child who is exhibiting little or no passion, emotion or care will rise to the opportunity to take real and concrete control over his or her life. Having money in your pocket means, "I have some power. I have control."
WHY HOMEWORK PAY?
Why? To provide parents with renewed hope, "My child can do it. I can still reach my child"
Why? Children and parents are rightfully reluctant to try one more experiment that may not work. I Can Do It! is guaranteed to work in at least one area. It is guaranteed to put money in the pockets of children who are willing to live up to their agreements. For most children this has provided motivation enough to try at least one more time.
Why? Because it sends a very clear and loud message that you are really serious. It sends the message that children can have whatever they want in this life, but they are going to have to earn it. Money talks. All the rest? Well, it walks.
Why? Real money allows children to develop real choices. Their choices become unlimited. When the child earns it, it's hers. If she wants to spend it on pink-rayon goo-gahs it should be allowed. Anything, as long as it's legal, moral and is within the value framework of your family.
Why? To establish an entirely new model for your child. Once the child's attention has been sparked, once the parents' hope has been rekindled, the family can take the second step of negotiating a sound contract. For what behavior can cash be earned? When will it be paid? How much?
THE ADVANTAGE OF CASH
Must payment be in the form of cash? I've heard many parents say, "My child isn't really interested in money." This may be true. Many people aren't particularly interested in money, but I haven't met a child yet who isn't interested in what money can buy.
"I want basketball shoes." No problem. "When you earn the cash they're yours."
"I want a stereo." No problem. "When you earn the cash it's yours."
"I want new clothes." That shouldn't be a problem. "You earn it, you've got it."
"But my friends don't have to earn their shoes. You're not fair." "I suppose that 's true. But keep in mind that I believe that getting an education is so important that I'm going to keep the spotlight right where it belongs, on academic success. When you earn it it's yours. No problem."
Once you've made your statement, stop talking. Turn your back and walk out of the room. Ignore the loud recriminations. "This stinks! You're mean! This isn't fair!"
Keep in mind that your goal isn't to be fair. Your goal isn't to be nice. Your goal is to be consistent and to help your child experience success. What is in the best interest of your child? Keep your attention directly on this question and you will rarely fail.
Passion, emotion and caring are the essential preconditions for learning and change. The challenge is to fire this passion and emotion with something about which children really care - getting their hands on more "stuff." Appeal to the child's pure self-interest. It works for adults on the job. Why shouldn't the same principle be applied to children in the home?
THE GREATEST REWARD
Perhaps, for the first time in a long time, the child has a
vision-a pocket full of money. Catch the child doing the right
thing. Pay off consistently. Allow him to earn concrete and meaningful
rewards. Believe me, it will work. More rapidly than you might
imagine, "I can't" turns into the greatest reward, "I
can!"
COPYRIGHT NOTICE: HOOKS WITH WORMS © June 2001 by Rory Donaldson. All rights reserved. In order to help reverse the tide of academic failure and optimize school success, parents and teachers may copy articles, tools and software for individual, non-commercial use at no charge. Contents may not be sold or repackaged in any manner without the written permission of Rory Donaldson. Since all material is copyrighted, please ensure that this entire copyright notice and contact information continues to be attached to each article you download. Mr. Donaldson appreciates the feedback. Additional academic-success articles and tools may be viewed and downloaded at no charge by logging on to brainsarefun.com. New titles are being released regularly. Suggestions and comments encouraged, email: roryd@brainsarefun.com.
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