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FEEDBACK ON YOUR FIRST ESSAY:
"Becomming A Better Writer"

Are all your daily report cards and graphs up-to-date?

1. Opening statement, "In this essay I shall address the issue of..."
2. Make long sentences two or three short sentences.
3. Don't mix your upper and lower case letters.
4. When you begin a sentence with the word "It," to what previous subject are your referring?
5. Did you write a clear conclusion?
6. Did you read your final draft out loud? Did you read it aloud to another person?
7. Did you ask another person to help you edit your paper? Everyone needs a good editor.
8. I like tell-backs because different people hear different ideas.
9. Know the difference between "Your" and "You're."
10. Evaluate using contractions in "formal" writing.
11. Because grading is going to be harder on the next essay, you may want to take it home and bring it in complete.
12. Working on a word processor allows you to read the material aloud and make corrections.
13. Primarily, on this essay, I graded on Effort.
14. Are you familiar with the proofing symbols in Reference Guide?
15. For formal essays, tests, papers, do not use paper ripped from a notebook.
16. So many of you say you are using memory patterns in your other classes. Excellent. That's the point.
17. Why do human beings approach work with such reluctance?
18. I will put the writing skills of all of you against any English 101 in the school and we would win. We might even win the state. I'm going to look into this.
19. Taking notes while another person speaks shows great respect, "What you are saying is so important to me that I'm going to take notes for reflection later."
20. Speak in the first person. Not, "It helps you," but, "It helps me."
21. I want you to get every penny's worth.
22. I want this to be one of the best classes you have ever taken. You deserve it.
23. 555's don't just boost writing skills, they build brain power. Remember, "Brains are fun!"
24. By the way, no other teacher will ever show you about 555's and Accelerated Learning. This is not taught in any other English 101 class. This is totally unique here. Did you end up here by accident? I don't think so. We were all meant to come together to create a totally unique and "quality" experience for all of us.
25. This was a formal essay, don't use abbreviations in formal essays.
26. Format. Format. Format.
27. How do you take notes when you read? Mark your pages and margins. Books are to be written in. Use your highlighter.
28. Count all your pages. Is your graph and report card up-to-date?
29. Yes, your notes and memory patterns may be sloppy, but where would you have been without them?
30. Does anyone have access to 30 manila folders? Please bring them to class and give them to me.
31. Many students report taking much better notes in other classes. Are you?
32. Don't make the common mistake of thinking this class will make you a better writer. This class will provide you with many successes, but only YOU will make you a better writer.
33. Are 555's appropriate for every class? Name one they aren't appropriate for?
34. Speak in first person "I," Don't keep speaking about other people. "Don't tell me what to do. Tell me what you do."
35. Many of us have been diagnosed "dyslexic," or as having some other kind of learning challenge. There is no better program to address learning and behavior challenges than 555's. It forces you to use many of your senses: ears, hands, brain, tongue, mouth, eyes. At the end of this class, many, so called, "learning challenges" will have nearly or completely evaporated.

KEEP IT UP. You can be very good writer.