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Rory Donaldson
Syllabus English 101
860-526-9853
roryd@brainsarefun.com

COMMENTS ON MID-TERM, HAPPINESS ESSAY

Paper grade is in green. Mid-term grade is in red.

HERE IS MY GENERAL COMMENT: FAR TOO MANY CARELESS ERRORS (SEE GRADING GUIDELINES)

• Get your daily report cards and graphs up-to-date. This is important because I want you to track your behavior, the number of pages written, and your ability to follow directions. Many times in life it may be important not to follow directions. Ask yourself, "Is this one of those times?"
• Keep your daily report cards and graphs up to date. Keep your portfolios organized, paper clip your notes to your final draft. All of this reflects paying attention to detail, and the details have something very important to do with "quality."
• Attendance is important.
• Effort is a significant part of your grade. Those who naturally write well, but who make little final effort, will not get a better grade than those students who make the effort, but who just can't write as well.
• Getting your papers in on time is important. Late papers are penalized unless you and I have spoken before hand.
• Spell out numbers 1 ­ 10.
• Why am I continuing the "happiness" theme in the research paper? I want you to have the opportunity to really develop one paper, rather than skipping to another paper before mastering this one. I want you to be able to turn in a near "perfect" paper. I want you to have the chance to edit, rewrite, rethink, go deep, express yourself, and get beyond the simple and superficial answers. I want you to have every chance to correct your mistakes.
• If you absolutely are convinced that you have mined the topic of "happiness" for all it's worth, do your paper on "unhappiness."
• May I suggest you review the RESEARCH PAPER GUIDELINES on our website. This topic is: "The great order is this: Be Happy."

Who said it's the great order?
What makes it the "great" order?
What does the word "be" mean?
What is your thesis? A thesis is a point of view that you find others to support.

• Some of examples of a thesis might be something like:
  
  • Throughout history people have deemed happiness to be the greatest good. The purpose of this paper is to define this "greatest good," and then to describe how a variety of people, throughout history, have gone about acquiring it. The conclusion shall discuss both their success and failure.
  • What were the alchemists trying to accomplish? Were they really trying to turn lead into gold, or more importantly, were they seeking the secret of happiness? This paper shall argue that what they were really searching for was happiness. To begin, let's take a look at who these people were...
  • Happiness is a chemical operation, totally outside of our control. When certain glands secrete certain hormones we are happy. When they fail in their secretion, we are not. It's as simple as that. In this paper I shall discuss these "happiness" glands, the hormones they secrete, and our ability to have any control over them whatsoever.
    
• In your research paper, tell me what some other people have said about happiness, AND what you believe about happiness. Flesh out your ideas. While I'm insistent that you express yourself, and your own ideas, I want you to also experiment with some ideas others have had. There are a lot of very smart people, who have given a lot of thought, to many ideas over the centuries. Look at some of their ideas.
• Your thesis should not be, "There are a million different opinions about happiness." Your thesis could be something like, "Human beings are far more similar than they are different. What is happiness to one person, probably represents happiness to many others.
• More quality. What is quality? Do you know it when you see it? Is it important?
• Reread, re-read, re-read, reedit, reedit, reedit, read aloud, read aloud, read aloud. Try not to repeat the same theme two or more times without adding something new, significant.
• "quotegarden.com"
• When you see #, there's something wrong with the spacing.
• When you quote, quote accurately. This is why I have you "copy" in class. Focus. What are you really seeing?
• There are differences between goals and objectives. Goals state a general condition of being, such as, "I want to be a good person." An objective can be measured, "In order to be a good person I will bring three pumpkin pies to my church's bake sale on Sunday."
• A lot of people said that happiness cannot be sought after. I'm not sure that's true. A good example of seeking happiness, it seems to me, is paying attention to our emotions, the beauty around us, and to those activities that affirm life (such as physical fitness). That doesn't mean you'll be happy all the time, but when it does come knocking, at least you'll be awake and at home. Doesn't the Bible say, "Seek and ye shall find?"
• Some of you are still talking about "You." Don't talk about me, the reader (that's who "you" refers to.) Talk about "I," or "we" or "us."
• Some people are still hesitant about the difference between speaking personally, and not. They have been told not to speak personally, or use the word "I" in a research paper. I say, "Bunk!" However, you may be asked in some other class to write a paper "that is not an opinion" paper, but a so-called pure "research paper" that defends a thesis. If this is so you should type "How to write a thesis" into your search engine and read a couple of articles on choosing a thesis. See your Reference Guide:
  
  • deciding on a purpose
  • deciding on a topic
  • formulating a thesis
  • useful web sites
  • note cards
  • writing your bibliography
  • summarizing
  • quotation marks
    
• Also, don't forget the tutoring center and the reference librarian
• When writing a paper for another class, make sure you follow that teacher's instructions. If you need help, see me.
• "Happiness is different to every person in the world." Does that mean there are no universals? Are there any experiences, ideas, thoughts, truths, behaviors, that are common to all?

I enjoyed reading your papers. Are you becoming better writers? Are you becoming better thinkers? Are you a better listener, speaker? Are you better able to organize information? Are you better at starting on time, staying on task, completing assignments, following instructions? Are you a better student? Are you getting your money's worth?

Please write down your questions. Remember, this is a writing class. Remind yourself: Never let a book, or teacher, or politician, or religion, or assignment, replace yout own thinking.

What really matters is your effort.

Need extra help? Come and see me, we'll set up an appointment.